Clues for Social Cues
Most of the time kids learn social cues like how to interact with others and make friends simply by watching other kids. Kids with autism and other similar challenges don’t always grasp this. Such kids need to be taught the hidden rules of relationships and social interaction.
You Are A Social Detective: The Unexpected
“You Are A Social Detective” can also describe the difficulty kids have grasping social cues. 😕 The next part of the book talks about what happens when kids experience this difficulty. The word used for not grasping social cues and the behavior that comes of it is unexpected.
Why So Bold?
Side note: words that are in bold are specifically defined words or phrases used in the book. Parents, teachers and therapists are encouraged to use this vocabulary. It helps kids to better understand how their actions affect other people in a simple way. It also helps parents separate who their child is from their behavior. What parents may see as “naughty” or “lazy” may be their kids not understanding social cues. Often times kids just need to be taught what those cues are, which is why “You Are A Social Detective” is so handy.
Unexpected: Examples
An example of the unexpected is a person’s body not being a part of the group. Kids who aren’t a part of the group may wander away from the group. 👦 Kids who are standing or sitting too close to others are also doing what is unexpected.
When kids are not involved in learning in class, they are also doing what is unexpected. They are not a part of the group and not using their eyes to learn the material. Eyes not pointed in the right direction leads to distracted thinking and little to no learning, which is another example of unexpected behavior.
The way kids speak and act on the playground can clearly indicate unexpected behavior. Saying mean words, not taking turns during games, and getting angry at a loss-that’s all unexpected behavior.
Why Unexpected?
Unexpected behavior isn’t necessarily good or bad. Kids who often use unexpected behaviors may be unfairly labeled as “lazy” or “naughty,” even though much of the time their behavior is a result of not understanding social cues. Put simply, 
unexpected behavior is confusion or ignorance over the social cues and norms most people take for granted.
Uncomfortable Thoughts
Unfortunately, repeated unexpected behavior, whether on the playground, at school, at home, or anywhere, leads to uncomfortable thoughts. “You Are A Social Detective” teaches that uncomfortable thoughts lead to negative effects.
Those Thoughts Lead To…
Uncomfortable thoughts about kids who do the unexpected lead to those kids feeling bad about themselves. Those kids may change in their outward appearance. They may not be as friendly or welcoming in tone of voice, or their face, or their body language. 
Those Thoughts Also Lead To…
Unexpected behavior lead to uncomfortable thoughts. This may in turn make people unhappy. Kids who are unhappy may not want to play or work with the person who makes them unhappy. 😡
What’s Next?
The process to instill a knowledge of social cues and rules to relationships doesn’t come easy. There are a lot of challenges for kids with autism and other similar challenges to obtain these skills. It’s good to see and acknowledge the uphill climb. In the next post I’ll include the payoffs of the book-tips to become a true Social Detective!