Thumbsucking, The Other Bad Habit
Maybe your kiddo had an unhealthy attachment to the pacifier and the bottle. It took awhile but eventually you were able to break the habit. And yet it seems nothing has changed. His speech continues to get worse, and there seems to be a space forming where his teeth are supposed to meet. Then you realize what it is…he’s still sucking his thumb.
Can I Tackle Thumbsucking?
Some of you may be thinking, “How can I make him stop? I can’t take away his thumb. I can’t hover over him while he sleeps to remove his thumb from his mouth.” You may think, “It’s too late, he’s been sucking his thumb since he was a baby.” Now your kiddo is three to five years old. He’s still sucking his thumb all day long. Getting your kiddo to quit the pacifier was like climbing a long and steep hill. Preventing the thumbsucking will be like having to climb Mount Everest!
The Thumbsucking Factors
It’s true that some children will never develop a problem with thumbsucking. For a time they suck their thumb but they are able to wean themselves off of the habit. What separates a child who is able to quit sucking their thumb and someone who has a problem are three factors: frequency, duration, and intensity of the thumbsucking. Children who grow out of thumbsucking don’t do it often, don’t do it for long, and suck softly. Children who create a habit suck their thumbs consistently, for a very long time, and with an almost focused intensity.
Thumbsucking Creates Problems
Getting your kiddo to stop thumbsucking will be hard. But is it possible? Definitely. Keep in mind that letting him suck his thumb has serious consequences. Thumbsucking, like using a pacifier or bottle, can place the teeth and palate out of shape. This affects your kiddo’s speech and language skills. For more information check out our other blog How Does A Bottle Or Pacifier Affect My Child’s Speech?
Source Quotes And Information
“How To Stop Thumbsucking and Other Oral Habits” by Pam Marshalla was the main resource and point of reference for this blog.
Thumbsucking In Public
It’s socially acceptable for babies and toddlers to use pacifiers and bottles. This is not the case with thumbsucking. As Pam Marshalla notes, there are many disparaging thoughts that people have about children that suck their thumb. Pam Marshalla lists some of these ugly thoughts: “a child who sucks the thumb appears different…shy…insecure…less intelligent…poorly behaved.”
As for the parents, (meaning you) “[they] have no control over him…do not care…[are] unwilling to tend to his needs…are in denial…are unwilling to tackle a difficult problem.” Such thoughts are disrespectful but that is not the problem. When others share those opinions with their kids, that’s when it becomes an issue. It encourages their kids to make fun of and bully your child.
Create A Plan To Quit
“How To Stop Thumbsucking” is a short read that offers a wealth of both background and practical information. The first thing to do before you try any activities is to set an elimination period. In other words, make a plan to help him stop thumbsucking, with a definitive goal, actions to achieve that goal, and rewards or consequences if that goal is or isn’t achieved.
Do A Test Run
Before you start on the path to putting an end to thumbsucking completely, do a test run. For example, you want your kiddo to stop sucking his thumb at dinner during the weekend for an entire month. If he is able to make it through the entire dinner then he gets to have screen time afterwards. If he can’t do it then there is no more screen time that night. Be sure to have a reward or consequence for what he accomplishes, perhaps a toy if he succeeds, and unfortunately no screen time for a week if he doesn’t.
Techniques
Putting an end to thumbsucking would be next to impossible without some strategies in place. Here are just a few techniques among the many you can find in the book.
Bedtime
For babies and much younger kids, gently pull the thumb out of the mouth without waking them. Older children may need actual physical reminders to help them stop sucking, such as something on their thumb, hand or arm. One good device to use is a thin glove or cutout gloves that they wear while asleep.
A different technique is to put “yucky-tasting stuff” on their thumb. This makes thumbsucking an unpleasant experience so that your kiddo learns to avoid it. Bedtime is such a crucial time because you aren’t there to monitor him, so the more you can prevent it the better.
Rules
Create rules against thumbsucking for your entire family, not just your thumbsucker. If you also ask extended family or friends who come over to do the same your kiddo won’t feel singled out. Put in place another rule that no fingers or thumbs are allowed in the mouth. Teach them how dirty fingers and thumbs can be; specifically talk about germs and other disgusting things. Set aside places in your house where no sucking is permitted, like the living room.
When you create a rule, be strict and firm, in no uncertain terms. Let him know that your word is law and that there are consequences for disobedience. Try not to come across as angry or threatening or scary, but be resolute. Don’t give in when your child whines or throws a tantrum or starts crying.
And More
Here are a few more techniques in quick order:
- Many kids form a connection to a toy or special object (like a safety blanket) which they hold while thumbsucking. Weaken the desire to suck their thumbs by taking it away. However, let him know you care for his special object by placing it in a nice box or even with a ceremony. Let him check on it periodically if you think it will help the process.
- Build up his ability to stop thumbsucking by setting up specific times when he can’t suck his thumb. For example, tell him he can’t suck his thumb every time you’re driving. Maybe you can add during screen time next. Keep adding more restricted times until he becomes accustomed to not sucking his thumb.
- Heroes are all the rage these days. Use your child’s favorite superhero to motivate him. Everytime he wears the shirt with his hero on it, the underwear, plays with the action figure, watches a movie, etc., remind him that his superhero would never suck his or her thumb.
Never Stop Talking
The most important thing you can do to teach your child not to suck his thumb is to talk to him. Answer his questions about thumbsucking. Let him talk about his feelings. Praise him extravagantly when he manages to stop himself from sucking his thumb and he accomplishes a goal. If he doesn’t try to change, express disapproval. It’s not about shaming but showing him that you care and emphasizing how important it is for him to stop. Finally, show your child respect for doing something that many adults still have problems doing…changing a difficult habit.