You Are a Social Detective: Part One

Wanted: Social Skills 

Most of the time kids learn social cues, like how to interact with others and make friends, simply by watching other kids. Kids with autism and other similar challenges don’t always grasp this naturally.  Such kids need to be taught the hidden rules of relationships and social interaction.

You Are a Social Detective: Explaining Social Thinking to Kids🕵️‍♀️

A great resource for this dilemma is You Are a Social Detective: Explaining Social Thinking to Kids.  The book is written by therapist Michelle Winner and Dr. Pamela Crooke (and illustrated by Kelly Knopp).  It reveals social cues needed for healthy social interaction and explains how to be a “social detective.”

Preface📖

In the preface it explains how parents and professionals should use this book. This book is not just for kids who obviously need help with social skills.  All sorts of different people, even adults, can profit from reading this book.  

Social Vocabulary

The preface also includes the “social vocabulary” used in this book.  One example is social smarts (the smarts we use whenever we are around other people).  Another is thinking with your eyes (looking at someone so they know that you are thinking about them).

Repetition

Right before the very first page is a hint to “stop and do” and to “talk about it.” This refers to the scenarios presented in the book.  It’s good advice because repetition is the key to remembering and eventually doing.

Always Investigate!

Social detectives learn that wherever there are other people, they need to think about the possible relationships between them and others.  They need to keep this in mind at school or doing homework or at the playground.   Every  situation where they are not alone they have to try and figure out what the correct social cues are.

What to Expect

The primary social term for the first part of the book is expected.  This means that the things they do or say results in others having good or neutral thoughts about them. 

Examples

If their body is part of the group, they can be close, but not touching.  That’s expected.

Following the classroom rules is expected.  Others will have good thoughts about them when their brain is part of the group (using their eyes to watch others in the group).   Another part of this is thinking about what is happening in the room (thinking with their eyes). 👀

Social detectives who do what is expected can also behave on the playground.   They speak kindly to other kids.  They don’t act out when they lose a game.  

Of course this extends to the home.  Kids who brush their teeth or go to bed at the right time are using expected behavior.

Good thoughts

People have good thoughts about you when you do what is expected of them.  This allows those kids to have good thoughts about themselves.

Social detectives with good thoughts act in a certain manner. Their faces, their voices, and their bodies give off warmth.  They are happy.  Other kids like being around them.  They’ve learned how to behave by thinking about and observing others.  🕵️‍♂️🕵️‍♀️

This book is a useful resource for any child who needs support with making friends and maintaining relationships. The concepts are easy to grasp, but using it with a child with autism is another matter entirely.  What makes this book a necessary read is what it offers on top of invaluable knowledge.  It offers hope that kids can learn and grow.