My Child Has a Hard Time Telling Me What He Wants

You know your kiddo

Let’s face it: as awesome as you are, you’re not the best at everything.  You’re pretty good, but you would admit there are some other people who outclass you…better cooks, better at board games, better at your job…just better, period.

But you know what you are the best at, better than anyone else in the world, even in all of history?  You’re the ultimate authority when it comes to your child.  No one knows her better than you do.

That’s why you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she understands almost everything you communicate to her.  You know what she wants for lunch.  When you ask her what she wants to wear, you know what she’ll choose.  You know her favorite toy, her favorite dessert, her favorite movie to watch over and over again (Frozen).

So what’s the problem?  The problem is that she has a very hard time letting you know what she wants and needs.  She can talk in simple sentences, but even then she struggles with grammar..  Her cousins who are all younger than her have a bigger vocabulary.  Other people say they can’t tell when she is sad or happy because they have trouble reading her expression.

What is going on with your child?

Receptive language

There could be a lot of things going on, but let’s say you’ve been right on the money when it comes to your child.  Your child isn’t struggling with receptive language, in other words, understanding language.  Your child understands the words you say, the gestures you use, your facial gestures, just about everything.

A child who has problems with receptive language doesn’t understand when people try to communicate with them.  In other words, they have trouble “receiving” communication.  Some tell-tale signs of this are:

• Has trouble following directions
• Difficulty with “wh” questions (who/what/where/why) if asked about a story
• Struggling with social skills

But if your child isn’t dealing with a receptive language disorder, what could it be?

Expressive language

Your child may be dealing with expressive language issues.  Expressive language is the other side of the language coin, the opposite side of receptive language.  Expressive language is how we communicate with others, whether it be through language, sign language, body or facial expressions, the written word, etc.  It would make sense that your child has difficulty with facial expressions, sentence structure, and growing her vocabulary.  Other ways to tell if a child has an expressive language disorder:

• Struggle with asking questions
• Uses jargon
• Hard time learning how to write

What to do next

If any of this sounds familiar, now is the time to contact an ASHA approved Speech Language Pathologist.  Only a fully licensed Speech Language Pathologist can accurately assess your child and determine if they have an expressive language disorder, a receptive language disorder, or sometimes, both.  Once they have a diagnosis, they will work out a unique plan to help your child start on the path to better communication.